You Smile When It's Impossible
by Maruba
Summary: You pretend to know your issues better than anyone else. You'll always tell me it's fine, but I know your hurting. Celebration of MarVex, 11/4. TW: Abuse


This is one of my favorite pairings of all time. I love MarVex. Anyhow, this came from a prompt my sister gave me, and having Vexen pining after Marluxia was her idea, and I thought it sounded interesting, so if you don't like it blame her. She got the idea from somewhere...I think it's manga that I just haven't read yet. Sounds pretty good though.

Disclaimer: Well...look at the name of the website.

* * *

 _"Marluxia, get up."_

 _The pinkette stared up at the sunset and giggled. The twenty-one-year-old was drunk off his ass, and he'd just enjoyed a day at the beach with his friends and boyfriend, Vexen. The pair had known each other since middle school and dated all throughout high school. He giggled more and pulled the blond down into the sand. The older boy was one of the few ones who hadn't gotten drunk. He'd never been as interested in the party culture as Marluxia, and was such a lightweight that he got drunk after one drink. Couldn't even handle kamikazes._

 _"Marluxia!" Vexen shrieked, flailing as he was pulled down to the sand. "Marluxia you know it takes me forever to get sand out of my hair!"_

 _"They're called showers..." Marluxia slurred, pressing his face into the blond's neck. He licked the long neck and sucked on different places, the various places he knew drove the other insane. He felt the thin body at his side shiver, and he smirked, biting down and running a hand up the other's white tank top. That's when Vexen's eyes snapped open, and he pushed Marluxia away. "What...?"_

 _"No, Marluxia." Vexen huffed, sitting up and crossing his arms. Marluxia sat up and looked at him with an irritated face, making no attempt to hide the boner he now sported under his swim trunks. "I'm not letting you molest me on a beach."_

 _"Come on icy." Marluxia purred, leaning over to kiss his lover. Vexen pulled away, clearly having no interest in Marluxia's antics. The pinkette frowned and rolled his eyes. "Fine... Whatever, bitch."_

 _"What did you just called me?" The blond snapped, looking at the other boy with anger clear in his eyes. Marluxia had known he'd had a bad day. He'd had a final with his most irritating teacher, his internship had required him to manage a tour with high school freshmen, and one of their housemates had used the last of ice coffee mix. Clearly Vexen wasn't in the mood, but Marluxia didn't care. All he had on his alcohol riddled mind right now was sex. "I know you didn't just call me a bitch."_

 _"And what if I did?" Marluxia slurred angrily, standing up. "You're the one who's holding out on me."_

 _"We're at a be-"_

 _"So what!"_

 _"Marluxia, stop yelling." Vexen_ _reprimanded. "People are starting to stare."_

 _"Let them stare!" Marluxia yelled, and then smirked. He leaned in close to the other's face. "Maybe I want to be watched."  
_

 _"For the last god damn time no!" Vexen yelled, finally fully pushing Marluxia away. He stood up tall, just slightly taller then the other but with a much slighter build. "I'm not having sex with you on the fucking beach!"_

 _"You're a shitty lay anyway..." Marluxia muttered, and then started speaking at full volume. "You're not even good enough for me anyway, if you don't want to fuck. I wanna fuck, Vexen. I wanna live! So if you don't we're done."  
_

 _"...No, no Marluxia you know what I say we're done!" Vexen spat. "If I'm just something for you to have sex with then fuck yeah we're done! I'm done! Have fun getting yourself home asshole cause I am not picking your drunk ass up!" With that he walked away, leaving the pinkette standing in the sand, watching him._

 _Marluxia, in turn, went back to the bar, getting a couple of shots for himself, now that he didn't really feel like hanging out with his friends. Fuck Vexen. Fuck. Vexen. He might not even remember this tomorrow. He down a shot, and when he looked back down, enjoying the slight burn as it traveled down his throat, he saw blond hair, green eyes, and a dangerous, flirtatious smirk._

 _"Hey there. How about we share a few drinks?"_

* * *

Marluxia opened the door to his apartment, carrying two boxes of pad thai in one hand with a messenger bag draped over his shoulder, carrying a notebook and textbook from his biology class. He dropped the bag by the door and put the boxes on the table. His girlfriend, Larxene, would be home within the hour from her job teaching self defense at the local gym, and he had promised to by dinner on the way home from his classes, thus the pad thai. He flopped down on the couch, turning on the tv to some random reality show simply for the sake of noise, and groaned. His eyelids were heavy with the sleep he'd missed the past...he didn't even remember how long. He stretched and yawned. He still had so much homework from all his other classes. He needed to get that done, and make sure he was awake when Larxene got home, but he was so tired.

Ten minutes wouldn't hurt...

"Marluxia!"

His eyes flashed open and he sat up with a start, bumping heads with a small figure who let out a high pitched "Ow!" and backed away. He looked and saw it was Larxene, who glared at him and walked into the kitchen. He sighed and followed, ready to apologize, but before he could open his mouth she immediately pounced the conversation.

"Why the hell were you sleeping?" She asked. "And why was the pad thai just left on the table? Are you so freickin lazy you can't even put it on a plate for me? I worked my fucking ass off today and all you did was sit on your ass in a fucking biology class and you take a nap? How about you make yourself useful and clean some shit or something. I'm going to go watch tv or something..." She took her plate and walked to the living room, setting herself up on the couch and changing the channel to something that sounded like a documentary on World War II.

Marluxia rolled his eyes and grabbed a plate for himself, serving himself some pad thai and sitting at the table. It was true, he'd been in class all day, but it getting a master's in Plant Biology wasn't easy, and if he wanted to become a Plant Biochemist, which he did, he would need a doctorate, meaning he needed more years of school. He was exhausted, and he had the right to be exhausted.

He smiled at the plant in front of him while he ate. It was a white african iris, and though his absolute favorite flowers were roses, as they reminded him of himself, this one flower had a very special place him his heart. It reminded him of...someone who was very special to him. Someone he missed a lot. He took very special care of the plant, and Larxene wasn't allowed anywhere near it. He spoke to the plant even, and he liked to imagine it speaking back to him a slightly irritated voice. If this flower was injured, he'd probably kill whoever had dare to lay a finger on it. He started telling it about his day, but shut up when Larxene snapped at him to stop talking. He didn't really want to deal with her temper that night.

* * *

A few days later Vexen walked into his biology class, sitting in the front and pulling out his notebook. He wasn't exactly sure what job he needed, as he really just wanted to study cloning, but he took every science class available, and molecular biology seemed like a good idea. He was the first to arrive, and watched as others walked in, specifically waiting for a certain pink haired idiot. When said pink haired idiot walked in, Vexen sneered a little. He didn't know why he kept watching. They'd broken up two years ago why did Marluxia still make his heart pound like this?

He stopped his pondering when he noticed something. A small set of red lines on Marluxia's cheek, like he'd been scratched across the face. He had another set of lines on his neck, and faded bruise on his forehead that he had clearly attempted to cover with his hair. Vexen's brow furrowed. Why had Marluxia come in looking so beat up? It didn't make any sense. He finally realized he was staring when Marluxia smiled at him, and he glared until the other shook his head with an amused look and then looked away.

"Still pining?" A voice asked. Vexen turned to see his best friend, Zexion, looking him with a smile of amusement. The shorter boy sat next to him and pulled out his own notebook. There was no real requirement for Zexion to take the class, seeing as how he was a psychology major. He was really just taking the class due to an interest in overall science, and of course to bother Vexen at every turn. "It's been two years."

"I'm not still pining." Vexen retorted. "And even if I was, at least I'm going after someone with a useful major. You're the one dating a Music Theory Major of all things."

"At least I'm getting laid." Vexen couldn't really argue with that. He hadn't had sex in a long time, but he was more focused on a career anyway. He didn't have time to worry about someone else's problems. Still...those red marks concerned him.

After class he caught up with Marluxia and grabbed his arm. The pinkette turned to him, and Vexen realized the marks weren't just any old scratches. They were cuts made the fingernails of human being. He grimaced a little and then cleared his throat when Marluxia gave him a confused look.

"What do you want?" Marluxia asked.

"What are those marks on your face?" Vexen responded in turn, causing an amused smile to grow on Marluxia's face. Oh shit. Vexen knew where this was going.

"Aw, was little Vexie worried about me?" Marluxia mocked. Vexen growled and let go of his arm.

"No!" Vexen spat, turning away a little. "I...I just wanted to know. I'm a curious man."

"Oh I know that Vexen. You're _very_ curious."

"Shut up!" Vexen was blushing a little. "God is everything about sex with you? Fine pardon me for wondering why you have scratches and a bruise on your fucking face." Vexen turned and stalked away, barely catching the slightly less mocking smile on the face of the man behind him.

* * *

It was sweet that Vexen still care enough about him to ask why he was injured. At least, Marluxia thought it was sweet. They hadn't been together for two years, and barely talked in that time. It was sweet that Vexen even noticed him at all, after all the things he had said.

 _"You_ _'re not even good enough for me anyway..._

He'd been so fucking stupid... Why the fuck did he say that. He didn't mean. And now he just had Larxene. Don't get him wrong, Larxene was great when she wasn't angry, and he was sure they'd be great as friends, but they met that night at the bar and been dating ever since. He had loved her for a long time, or at least he thought he had. Did he still love her? He honestly had no fucking clue anymore.

Yesterday was not the first day Larxene had ever hurt him, it was just the first time she'd left marks on his face. He would fight back, but he'd been raised being told to never hurt a woman, and Larxene was so small compared to him, even if she was a little spitfire. Even his friend Axel tried to avoid conflicts with her.

He walked to his car and drove to the gym, pulling his gym bag out of the trunk. He changed in the locker room and went to the weight machines. He had an hour to work out before he needed to go back to the apartment and wait for Larxene to get back from her physics class. It was generally best if he got home first. It made her less paranoid.

He missed having a normal life, where he didn't constantly have to worry about pissing Larxene off. He didn't hate her, he just thought that maybe they shouldn't be dating. She could get with that artist friend of hers, Naminé, or something like that. They'd be a cute couple. He could...

Well, he couldn't really do anything.

"Where were you?"

He hadn't really been expecting Larxene to be home when he walked in, still dressed in red shorts and a pink shirt, blue headband pushing back his bangs. His clothes he wore all day were haphazardly tossed in his bag, as he hadn't felt like changing. It was only then for the first time in an hour he checked his phone. Two calls and a text about his girlfriend's physics class being cut short because the professor had a seizure.

"Larxene I was at the gym." He explained, dropping the bag on the floor and stretching. "I left my phone in my locker and forgot to check it. Sorry."

"Are you sure you weren't with someone else?" She accused. Marluxia looked past her to see a bottle of whiskey on the table, next to his iris. He frowned with concern. She'd be alone for too long. "Are you sure you weren't sleeping with someone else!"

"Why do you always think I'm cheating on you?" He yelled, and immediately regretted it.

"Because you've done it before!" She screamed. Marluxia bit his lip. He couldn't argue with that, especially now that he'd noticed the tears in her eyes. Six months into their relationship, Marluxia got drunk with his then single friend Axel, and one thing led to another and Marluxia woke up in his own bed with Axel being tossed out by Larxene. The only reason they stayed together after that was because Larxene forced Marluxia to never do it again.

"I know." He admitted. He began slowly walking toward her. "Calm down, you're drunk. I promise you, I was at the gy-"

"Stay the fuck away from me!" She screamed and grabbed an empty beer bottle from their trash. Marluxia froze and put his hands up, but it was too late.

He didn't even have time to register the bottle until it hit him in the head.

* * *

Vexen sat next to the hospital and sighed. Apparently Marluxia had never updated his emergency contact, and now that the shit was in the hospital Vexen had been called in from his internship to wait for the pinkette to wake up. He had been here for the past two hours, staring at the sleeping man, who's forehead was wrapped in bandages. Vexen frowned. He had a feeling as to where that injury came from. He knew Marluxia had a girlfriend, though he didn't know much about her, and even if the doctor's were believing her bullshit about "bumping against a shelf", Vexen knew Marluxia wasn't that clumsy.

He perked up when he heard a groan, and looked closely to see a pair of blue eyes opening. Marluxia looked over and grinned a little bit, and Vexen couldn't help but smile a little bit back before he managed to push back the emotion.

"So, what did I miss." Marluxia asked in a joking manner. Vexen rolled his eyes and gave the other a more serious look.

"I know what really happened Marluxia." He said. The man frowned. "I don't know if your girlfriend meant to hurt you or not, but this relationship needs to end. You two are going to kill each other."

"I don't know Vexen." Marluxia said with a sigh. "I think I love her, but I'm not sure anymore, but I don't want to leave her alone."

"If you don't leave her, she's never going to have a chance at getting better." Vexen said. Marluxia glared.

"And how do you know that?" He spat.

"Because, deep down inside, I'm still trying to be good enough for you. For someone. And it's killing me, because I never will be. Maybe she has a chance, maybe someone else does. I don't know. But this clearly isn't healthy for either of you. It needs to stop." Vexen said. "If all she's going to do is hurt you, then she's no better for you than I was. If anything she's worse. She needs to be somewhere that can help her, or she needs to be alone, and you need to be a place that isn't with her." Marluxia was quiet, and Vexen stood up.

"Vexen...I..."

"Promise me you'll do the right thing, Marluxia."

When he was met by nothing but silence, Vexen walked out.

* * *

A few days later Marluxia returned to the apartment from the hospital, and for a few weeks everything was wonderful. Larxene had apologized with tears in her eyes, and been very sweet. He was actually excited to return to the apartment after his classes now, and today was no different. He walked out, a little sad that he once again didn't speak to Vexen, and drove back to the complex. He stepped out of the car, walked up to the apartment, and opened the door.

What he saw when he walked in terrified him.

There was a bottle of tequila on the floor and a very pissed Larxene huddled on the couch. A few pictures had been ripped off the wall and glass was everywhere on the floor, along with books from the bookshelf, but that wasn't the worst of it. There, in the middle of the floor, was his iris. Cut into tiny pieces. Desecrated. Destroyed.

He slammed the door shut. Something inside him snapped, and he threw his bag to the floor, storming over to the couch.

"What did you do?" He yelled, pointing at the ruined flower. She gave him a defiant glare. "What the fuck did you do?"

"You know what I did!" She yelled back, standing up. "I destroyed it! I destroyed him!"

"Him?" Marluxia asked, laughing darkly. "It's a fucking flower Larxene!"

"Then why are you so pissed about it, huh?" She mocked. "It's because it's him! That's Vexen! You love that thing more than me! You love him more than anything! You've loved him for the past two years!"

"Maybe I have Larxene! You want to know why?" He asked. "Cause he's not fucking crazy! He doesn't think I'm cheating every time I take one step out of his sight! He doesn't call me lazy or stupid or fucking send me to the hospital!"

"Well then why don't you go back to your precious Vexen?" She snapped. "Oh wait, you can't! Cause you fucked up! I'm all you have left Marluxia! You don't have him anymore!" He glared.

"Get out." He growled.

"Wha-?"

"I SAID GET OUT!"

* * *

Vexen was walking outside, enjoying the setting sun. The rays hit his face in an almost comforting warmth, and they caused the autumn leaves to look as though they were lit on fire. Winter was actually his favorite time of year, but autumn was absolutely splendid.

He stopped when he heard the sound of angry muttering. He turned just in time to see a figure in a black hoodie walk up to him, hood up, and wrap its arms around him. He froze and blinked in shock, not entirely sure what to think about this random stranger, it until it spoke.

"Larxene and I broke up. I kicked her out."

It was Marluxia. He pulled back and pulled down his hood to reveal familiar pink hair and blue eyes, but his eyes were red, as though he'd been crying.

"She destroyed my flower." Marluxia said, pressing his face into Vexen's shoulder. His face was still wet, so the tears were recent. "I needed to not be in my apartment. I needed to go for a walk."

"Smart enough choice as any." Vexen admitted.

"...Have I lost you?"

"What?"

"Have I...lost any chance I had of getting you back?" Marluxia pulled back and looked at him in the eyes, and Vexen hesitated, thinking about his answer.

"No, Marluxia." He admitted. "No you haven't. I...never stopped loving you, even if I may not quite trust you right now." That caused the pinkette to begin to whimper, holding back tears that must have dried up long ago. "But...you have your charms. You smile when it's impossible, and you pretend to know your issues better than anyone else. You'll always tell me it's fine, but I know your hurting. So, stick around, and give me a reason to trust you again."

And with that, Marluxia smiled.

* * *

Sorry for any awkward OOCness. It's AU, what do you expect?


End file.
